(˵Φ ω Φ˵)

@vexingrandiloquence

steph ★ 28 ★ she/her | they/them

the difference between how link does gender and how zelda does gender is that link decides what pronouns he’ll use that day based entirely on what outfit he’d like to wear, and zelda has a calendar up on the wall with five months blocked out weeks ahead of time and labeled “boy time”.

glados does kind of talk like a tumblr user. she literally would say stuff like I went to the broth convention and none of the really attractive people there even knew your name

Do not attempt to out-malicious-compliance the staff at the malicious compliance conference.

Some dipshit decided to pay the conference fee ($250) in quarters. He handed us a wrapped plastic bag full of loose change. "It's all there," he said with a shit-eating grin, "you can count it."

Oh buddy. We're going to count it. What were you expecting?

At about the time I got to $60, he offered to give us $300 collateral so he could get his badge and go to the conference.

No, bud. You get to watch the most dyscalculic staffer count to a thousand while all your friends go in to the breakfast and find seats for the first talk.

"Ruining someone's day" is the favorite hobby of everyone here. Why would you hand us the perfect opportunity to wreck your shit and think that was an own? Half the con is calling him "Untraceable," the other half is calling him "Quarter Boy" and nobody cares what he says his handle is.

I spent an hour counting that and made him go fetch me baggies to hold it every fifty dollars.

This ended up being a good bonus prank for me too, because when the counting was done I wrapped the bags in gaffer's tape and spent the rest of the day handing it to people very casually while saying "oh here, hold this for a sec" and then watching they weren't ready for the weight (I only did this to people I know well enough to know this wouldn't hurt them).

Like everyone else, I just really want to know what is the malicious compliance conference.

I tried making brownies at midnight and it was a 3 hour affair that ended with shockingly not the first time ive baked sweet soup

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Be NICE TO ME

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I tried to add frosting and, I have got say, its a thicker consistency than the brownie itself

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…no…


But. It is fully possible that I misread it as a cup and a half and not. Half a cup.

:) here's the post in video format to the song hall of the mountain king

YESSSSSSS THANK YOU @randomgooberness IT IS COMPLETE